I woke up looking at the world differently, I guess u can say I am finally feeling free, free from decpetion, free from the devils lies ... I guess u can say I felt blinded, blinded by all the BS, I allowed to control and wear me down. I am finally gettin back to Jackie, who is jackie, who does jackie want to be, I am finally starting to piece together, myself, I have allowed the devil to whisper so many lies to me, and alter my mind state and who I seen myself as, compared to who the mirror portrayed me to be, I am finally getting to stand and see myself for the trials and tribulations I have gone threw and also how it has molded me on who I am today, I guess I can honestly say I am not ashamed on my trials and tribulation, but it is time for me to understand them, critque them and use them as a positive re-enforcement in my life, I want to be loved and I was looking in all the wrong places and finally it hit me the only love I was guarentee'd was the love the lord gave me, shouldnt that be enough? and I can honestly say today it is and I am happy with that, The lord is leading me in a direction and allowing me to learn on the way. Each day I am analyzing more and learning more about myself and this is only the beginning for me, I am going to get more serious about my writing, I will sure keep u all posted!

ps .. theres more to life then love, riches and fame .. what about happiness, what about making the lord smile and giving him praise? I been thinking alot about this and its time for me to give back and allow him to use me in the way he sees fit, I have my dreams yes, but what about the lord dreams for me, thats what I am waiting to get the answers too, just something to think about. j