

So I found a new love, I guess you can say he's always been here, I just chose not to see him and know that he would always love me no matter what, he was all I needed and I see now, I tried to fill a void in my life the worse way, by letting a man try to control me and de-flower me from who I was, who I was trying to grow to be, I guess this was a good lesson for me, a hurtful one but I needed to see this view of life and pain in my own way and time for me to know that not all love is love, not all words are told with honesty and not all people are as honest and humble as I am. I guess the lord had placed a few people in my life lately to allow me to grow, I have been growing so much, and my mom actually seen it and told me she was proud of me, and to be honest I am proud of me, my sister told me I was going to make it, I was going to be ok, my writing would be my first step to becoming known, for the unique and beautiful person I am inside and out, I know I will make it, its just figuring out what talent I want to use first, I cant wait til june I plan on moving to Vegas! me and my sister. I cant wait, I'm going to make it yall just watch! dreams do come true! and I believe in myself, I am my biggest cheerleader, and thats how it should be, anyway have u figured out who my new love is??? ME! the lord has opened my eyes to so much in the last 2 months, I am getting back to knowing me and loving me, because I lost sight of what was important, and that was my well being, I deserve to be happy and with someone who values me. I guess u can say I got my mind back, I got my eye on the prize and I'm going to hit that bullzeye!
Men! ha ... are u serious? I'm too threw, I got a friend a good friend who has been there for awhile now, Its nice to talk him, when I am trying to find me and he is just a breath of fresh air for me, its nice to have a friend, someone who u know cares about u and understands u and not LIE! to you about who they are, I dont respect those who resort to such a act of deception, I cant stand a selfish person and the last man I was with was just that! I cant even be his friend, because I dont even know him, I gave my all and only to realize that he never knew me, and the love I thought was true was my own imagination because I wanted to fulfill something, I guess to be loved and I never realized that, but all needs to feel needed and loved and I guess I'm no different, but I loved this person who never gave me them, there love, which to me is pure and precious and he took advantage of me and my love.
So now I am here; where I stand today, realizing that my love should be cherished as a rare gem, so next time, when love knocks on my door I will be more careful. I love u isnt a word you need to throw around, its something that needs to be meant and if lies are told from the jump, then the love was never real because it was all a myth, u cant love someone u dont know and if someone lies to you for a year about something that didnt have to be lied about then, that love was never real. Love, real love doesnt hurt, make u feel low nor is it based on a lie. Thats not love, atleast not a love I would want to call my own. This is why I had to end it!
Bookiie: I love u girl, u are one of the strongest females I know, and I admire u for so many things, and mama ur writing is fiyah! ah` look at jacks talkin ghetto. I love u and I got ur back mama!
Bon: my baby turtle I love u mama! u are becoming so beautiful and growing into someone who I look at and smile. U are strong mama! never forget that and dont doubt a decision u make.
Buck: I love the time we share and I cant wait to see what else is in store with us, as friends. U make me smile and thats what I been needing. luv u! 
Well I am glad that you found new love! You needed it! I think one needs to find true love within herself, before she can ever love anybody truthfully. I mean, I'm not saying that you didn't love yourself, but a person who truelly loves who they are and believes that they are loveable and are more than enough for anyone, will pick their men like their fruit. They wouldn't stand for so much drama. Perhaps, you thought he was the ONLY one who could understand you and love you.. perhaps he ALWAYS told you that. Never let a man tell you that, because really you will start to believe that HE is the only one FOR you. It's degrading your womanhood in such a sense, if you think about it. I'm not saying husband and wife don't exist.. but a boyfriend who is the ONE for you? Who ain't doing right in the first place!PSH. He can kiss your metallic ass!:-? Call me a hater, but I knowww what I'm talkin about girl! LOL I'm on dick stricke for life, until I get married. And the sap sucker who does become my boyfriend, no na-na for him.We'll see who's loving who then.